She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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