I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
