Do vagina's smell?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
