ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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