you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
