STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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