you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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