she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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