Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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