That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
