I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
