Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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