his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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