dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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