I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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