Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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