1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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