Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize