I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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