just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
