bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
