i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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