Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
