oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
