Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
