Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
