..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
