Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
