The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
