Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
