the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
