You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
