I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
