do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
