I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
