She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
