I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
