She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
