just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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