she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
