bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
