last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
