Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
