I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
