Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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