She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
