I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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