there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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