While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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