Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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