you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
