Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize