He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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