I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
